Fiji Dodge Car

When Wilson and I visited the LTA (Land Transport Authority) to see about obtaining a Fiji driver's license, we were asked if we would like to be 'converted'.  As LDS missionaries, we were surprised to be asked that question.  However we agreed and, once we showed them our British driver's licenses, we were able to sidestep the written and/or driving tests and 'convert' - receiving our Fiji driving licenses in a matter of minutes.

We've now been in Fiji for nine months and I think I've come up with an idea for a great video game - Fiji Dodge Car -  but be warned, it's not for the faint of heart, nor those without lightning fast reflexes and the mental agility to make quick decisions. That said, most American drivers would definitely be challenged by this game!

You would start by pulling out of the driveway on a dead end street. Immediately five taxis and two buses would whiz by, within inches of the front bumper. As you slowly pull out onto the narrow, winding, steep road you would be met by dogs sauntering along who seem to look at you with a "What on earth are YOU doing here?" gaze. Beware of some large potholes, trenches on the sides of the road, and be sure to swerve to miss birds enjoying their pothole birdbaths.   This video game would include 8,000 taxis and buses of every shape, size, and colour, each with it's own set of rules. See someone who needs a ride?  Stop in the middle of the road, do a quick U-turn, or suddenly pull across two lanes to pick them up. Also, feel free to let off your passengers anywhere you and they determine best. No problem that you are right next to a car and your departing passenger is almost tempted to open the back seat car door of the vehicle next to you, scoot across the seat, and get out of the other side just so they can reach the sidewalk.  A police vehicle with lights flashing?  Just keep driving.

The game would also come with instructions about using your car horn and flashing your lights. Honking is a conversational art, difficult to decipher at first, and can mean any of the following:
"I'm here, please don't back into me"
"Bula" or "Hi there"
"Although I'm in the wrong lane, I'm coming over so get ready"
"Go ahead"
"Make a turn in front of me"
"Danger ahead"
"Our team won"

Although you are only traveling about 30-40kph (18-24 mph) around town, it feels like break neck speed due to winding roads, the abundance of traffic and our next frightening traffic hazard-

The Pedestrian.

Those playing Fiji Dodge Car need to quickly understand the faith and confidence pedestrians have placed in you.  As they run, wander, or saunter across the road without so much as a glance in your direction, you realize that you are not only responsible for your safety and the safety of all those in your vehicle, but also for every person on every sidewalk and road in the city. An added challenge is when someone crossing the road actually bumps into your car because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, possible traveling too slowly. Add to that the excitement of many people crossing the three lane road, one lane at a time, hesitating on the stripes. Animals and birds often follow suit. Just today, as we were stopped, a bird flew into the side of our car. Interesting...

Any thoughts of driving while listening to the radio, or momentarily day dreaming for that matter, should be avoided while playing Fiji Dodge Car. Your full concentration is required. Better yet, enlist a navigator with an eagle eye to spot side roads, road signs, and shop names to ride with you. Intersections with traffic lights can be quickly transformed, when those lights are out, into roundabouts with a few cones or barricades strategically placed in the center of the road. All other drivers (except you) will recognize this immediately. Here's another honking opportunity - "Oy!  It's a roundabout, palangi!"

Night driving requires another level of expertise.  For those with nerves of steel, give it a go.  Warning - be it day or night, other vehicles very suddenly appear and disappear, defying all laws of physics. Pedestrians walk in the streets in dark clothing and become nearly invisible.

For the country version of Fiji Dodge Car I would definitely add chickens, goats, a few cows and horses wandering the roads in addition to the entire mongoose population of Fiji.  I do have to admit, those little guys are low to the ground and can scamper across a busy road very quickly.  Now, we would also include coconuts dropping from the trees and lots of small fruit/vegetable/food stands along the roadsides in random, traffic congesting locations, encouraging vehicles to make quick stops in the middle of the road, and an increased number of taxis and pedestrians.

Fiji Dodge Car would be extremely challenging but fun, and would include breathtaking scenery around each bend.  Plus the many speed humps as you drive through Fiji villages would force you to slow down and really appreciate the beauty of village life.

The real winners in Fiji Dodge Car will be those who see beauty all around and develop a great love for everything (and everyone) Fijian.